From the Beginning
April 30…excuse me…I have what ?
I got the call on Friday to say the surgeon wants to see me. She had my biopsy report. I knew that things probably weren’t great. I was expecting to hear that I had an infection or maybe a cyst. It was now Monday. I had spent the weekend trying not to think about the…
Keep readingJuravinski, what a difference a week makes
A week after being diagnosed with breast cancer, I had, thanks to my family doctor, an appointment at the Juravinski Cancer Centre. I had googled the hospital to find out as much as I could before my appointment. The facility, the programs and services and even the look of the place was impressive. I read…
Keep readingMy boobs are in good hands
Waiting to meet my new surgeon was a completely different experience. There was none of the angst of waiting for a diagnosis. I knew what that was…I have breast cancer…so tell me what’s next, PLEASE. The door of the examining room opened and in came one of the most energetic, confident and enthusiastic people I’ve…
Keep readingA matching pair
A week later I was meeting with the reconstructive/plastic surgeon assigned to my team. Just so we are clear, breast reconstruction is not a boob job. Reconstruction of your breasts after mastectomy is a long process. In fact, the plastic surgeon said it will take another nine months after my mastectomy scars heal. So this…
Keep readingIf not for the kindness of strangers
I have now joined a club I never wanted to be a member. No one does. But I will pay my dues, do my time and then drop out as quickly as possible. Actually that’s not true. Yes, I want to resign the post “I have cancer” and replace it with “I survived cancer”, but…
Keep readingI’ll take Breast Cancer for $1000 Alex
Since my diagnosis April 30 I haven’t stopped reading every article, blog, book and tweet I can find about breast cancer. I never knew there were so many types of breast cancer, seven I believe. And although I am certainly no expert, I joke with my family and friends that I could go on Jeopardy…
Keep readingA negative mind will never give you a positive life
Let’s face it. This is a battle and a long one at that. But I’ve stepped into the ring and am prepared to go as many rounds as it takes until I am awarded the title SURVIVOR I like to surround myself with positive energy and positive people. And more so now than any other…
Keep readingThe 3 P’s of Pre-op. Poking, Prodding and Paperwork
I’m so fortunate to live in an area that has as many hospitals and medical centres as it does Tim Hortons. The clinic for my pre-op was less than 10 minutes away, very convenient. The appointment itself….well a bit longer. Even though I had a scheduled appointment for 10:40, I was told to take a…
Keep readingPillows, Pockets and Pins
My biggest preparation for my surgery Wednesday is what to do to manage the drainage tubes. I have to say that I have lost a lot of sleep thinking about them and how they will impact my recovery. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about (and don’t feel bad ’cause this…
Keep readingTwas the night before surgery and all through the house, not a creature was stirring….
…not even a ….Are you kidding me? I won’t be getting any sleep! Any one who says you should go into surgery well rested has obviously never had surgery. Or at least not major surgery. And even though I will only be in the hospital from 6:15 Wednesday morning to 6:15 Thursday morning, this is…
Keep readingBoob Voyage…
On my way to the hospital. Wish me luck. I will be back to you as soon as I can. Looking forward to sharing another chapter in my Ta Ta Cancer story.
Keep readingPain Pain Go Away and don’t come back another day
Day 2. Still at the hospital. My surgery went well…or so they thought until in recovery I was feeling extreme discomfort and a lot of swelling. The surgical resident examined me and determined I had excessive bleeding in my left chest area. My drains were filling up within minutes with bright red blood. This needed…
Keep readingHome Sweet Home
Given the go ahead to go home. You have no idea what good news that is for me. Hospitals are NOT FUN! Did you know that there are a lot of sick people there?! I had a rough time of it. The last 48 hours have put me to the test but I knew I…
Keep reading” Drugs in my pocket and I don’t know what to do with them” (the Monks, 1979)
Cyclopentasiloxane and PEG, every day, twice a day Dilaudud (8mg) every day, 6 times a day Dulcolax (100 mg), everyday, once a day Ketorolac(10mg) every day, 4 times a day Amox/Clav, 3 times a day, every day Welcome to Club MED. Unfortunately there’s no beach, no pool, no entertainment and definitely no swim up bar.…
Keep readingI get a gold star on the fridge
The in-home nurse just left. It was my first time having someone come to the house for help. She inspected my drains, changed some dressings and reviewed my spreadsheet with all the meds. “Wow”, she said, “You’re very organized”. I know this will seem silly but I was proud that the nurse was giving me…
Keep readingA Walk to Remember…
I haven’t yet talked about Wednesday June 13th other than a brief post as I left for the hospital. It’s taken me these last few days to gather up enough strength to tackle this subject. The day was hot and muggy, even though it was only 5:30am when we left for the hospital. The air…
Keep readingOh sh#t. I’ve sprung a leak!
Drainage tubes. The bane of my existence. They have to be milked and drained several times a day and the amount of fluid from each drain has to be recorded. Yes, you read right…milked and drained. Sounds like I’m a dairy cow….without teets! Let me try to explain how these things work. One end of…
Keep readingWatch out for that pot-hole!!!!
Today was my first day out of the house since Friday. I’ve been camped out in my bedroom since arriving home after surgery. Today, I had an appointment at the V.O.N. clinic to have my dressings changed and my sutures examined. Apparently if you can get to the clinic, then that’s where they want you…
Keep readingTwo steps forward, three steps back
Yesterday was a busy day for me. I hadn’t really left my bedroom let alone the house since my surgery. I was feeling rather smug; thinking “I got this. My recovery is going to be faster than expected because I’m strong and determined.” Well the determined part may be true but the rest…not so much.…
Keep readingFirst Day of Summer…or so they tell me
For the last two days I have been fighting a fever. It’s really taken its toll on not only my body but my psyche. This time last week I was still in hospital and so yes I know, I am doing much better than I was, BUT, today I am definitely feeling down. For…
Keep readingOne, two, three…PULL
Just got back from a trip to the clinic to have my dressings changed and drains examined. My right drain has slowed down a lot the last few days although the left is still producing abundantly and still leaking. The nurse examined the drains and reviewed the spreadsheet where I record the output every time…
Keep readingLaughter really IS the best medicine
It’s Saturday. The “weekend”! Normally that would feel special but for me everyday is Saturday…without the “special”. I have been feeling a bit stronger every day although I tire very easily. In fact I just woke up from a three hour nap. Before my surgery, I was lucky to sleep three hours straight a night…
Keep readingWe must, we must, we must improve our bust!
Before being discharged from the hospital I was given a booklet entitled “Exercises after breast or upper body lymph node surgery”. It lists several exercises to start to do the first week after surgery and then another set after you have your drains removed, which in the book says “in seven days”. Ha, who are…
Keep readingThe drain of my drain
I am truly hoping that this will be the last post I make about my drains…at least until my next surgery…which I don’t dare think about yet. Tomorrow, I see the reconstructive surgeon and have my fingers and toes crossed that he will remove my final drain. This plastic tube that is sutured to the…
Keep readingDrain free, as free as the tubes go…
Oh what a feeling. My last tube was removed today and I am elated!!!! I had my first followup appointment with the Reconstructive Surgeon today at the Juravinski Cancer Centre. It was a quick appointment. I didn’t actually see my surgeon, but his intern instead. I had met her in hospital so I knew she…
Keep readingIt takes a village
Two weeks ago today I had my double mastectomy surgery. On one hand it feels like only yesterday but on the other it feels like a lifetime ago. It has been a rough two weeks but each day I am a little stronger and a little more mobile. I can now brush my teeth, lift…
Keep readingThe 3:1 Recovery Ratio
My beautiful daughter has come for the long weekend for a visit. We haven’t seen each other since mid April, right after my biopsy but before my diagnosis. I know that it has been hard for her living 5 hours away. She has been worried about me and of course I have worried about her…
Keep readingThat’s not where that freckle is supposed to be?!
Today I finally got the all clear to have a shower. What a great feeling to be able to wash away any remnants of my stay in the hospital. Showering today was more than just being able to wash my own hair, showering meant that I was finally able to do something on my own.…
Keep readingI have lymphedema, oh swell!
As part of my mastectomy surgery I had sentinel lymph nodes removed. If cancer has spread, it has most likely moved into the underarm lymph nodes first. Lymph is a thin, clear fluid that circulates throughout the body to remove wastes, bacteria and other substances from tissues. Lymphedema is the build up of fluids in…
Keep readingIt’s not like I had a choice
I am almost three weeks post op. Some days it feels like three years. I have to admit that the last few days have been really rough not just physically but more so emotionally. I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired! The lymphedema that has sprung up on my left side is…
Keep readingCancer is but a chapter in my life…not the whole story
I didn’t sleep a wink last night anticipating my appointment today with the surgical oncologist. At 2:30pm I received the news that the pathology report shows that all cancer was removed with the mastectomy and there were no signs of cancer in my lymph nodes! I couldn’t have asked for better news. I am elated.…
Keep readingThe waiting game
Ahhh, Friday. Ahhh, any day. Since I’ve been home recuperating everyday seems to blend into the next day. Friday is the same as a Tuesday and Saturday could be a Wednesday, they’re all the same. Friday evenings were always a night to relax and unwind. And usually would start with a very dry vodka martini…
Keep readingHave an ailment? I have a pillow for that!
One of the biggest aids in my recovery has been my menagerie of pillows. I have my “chest” pillow, as seen here, that travels everywhere with me. It acts as a chest protector, arm elevator and all round comfort pillow for me. I have two small heart shaped pillows that I put under my arms…
Keep reading“Can you handle it for another week?”
Just got back from seeing my surgeon again at the Juravinski Cancer Centre. I had seen him last Wednesday when he tried to drain a large hematoma that has formed on my left side. Today I went back and was examined by two Residents and the surgeon. The hematoma which is the size of a…
Keep readingBeing my own advocate
The severe swelling I have is not getting any better. I don’t see my surgeon until next Tuesday so I need to do something in the meantime to move things along. I spent hours yesterday searching out physiotherapists who are trained and certified in lymphatic massage. I found some and immediately sent messages to them…
Keep reading” A rose by any other name would smell as sweet “
Yeah…it’s Friday! Actually it could be Tuesday…everyday is the same for me. HOWEVER, today I thought I would try my best to fix myself up. Everyone feels better when they look good. Now for someone who has a hard time lifting their arms up, washing, blowdrying and styling your hair is a major undertaking. But…
Keep readingNight time is the worst
This week I have really noticed a big improvement in how I feel. I have more energy (in fact I’ve gone two days without an afternoon nap) and my appetite is returning. I even had my first “craving” for a toasted bacon, lettuce tomato and avocado sandwich…and it was good! The days seem to go…
Keep readingGo with the flow…lymphatic drainage
The swelling under my left arm and chest area has been causing me a lot of discomfort. I have seen my reconstructive surgeon three weeks in a row and as the swelling is still so severe, he has not been able to add any saline into my tissue expanders. “I don’t want to add anything…
Keep readingThere’s a whole big world out there!
Other than my trips to see doctors, surgeons and therapists, I have not left my house in 5 weeks. That’s a long time to be “out of touch” with the real world. Today I made an appointment to get my hair cut. I was driven to my hairdresser, as I still can’t drive. The trip…
Keep readingNo breasts….no cancer….no treatment!
Just returned from the Juravinski Cancer Centre for a consultation with another oncologist. My surgeon had set up this referral to discuss whether I need further treatment for my breast cancer. I had been told that if I was in the U.S. I would be prescribed an oral medication to increase my odds of keeping…
Keep readingFill ‘er up!
Today I went to see the reconstructive surgeon. I’ve been going once a week as my swelling and hematoma have not improved. I thought today would be like the last few appointments where he checked me over and sent me on my way with the encouraging words ” This will take time. Try to be…
Keep readingIt’s a balancing act
One foot in front of the other. Keep looking forward, don’t look down. Each day of this journey has tested my resolve. From the physical challenges to the emotional and psychological hurdles, every day presents something new to deal with. Funny enough, now that I am feeling a bit stronger, there are more challenges that…
Keep readingI’m going as fast as I can…..
Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day. It was warm but not too humid so I thought “today is the day to venture out”. There is a beautiful Bay front close to where I live with miles and miles of paths for walking, biking and rollerblading. I forgot that it was the weekend, as everyday is…
Keep readingNo pain, No gain!
I have been waiting for my follow up lymphatic massage for two weeks as the therapist had gone on holiday. Imagine…going on holiday in the summer? What’s up with that?! The goal of the massage is too try to break up the hematoma that remains large and very hard under my arm and to reduce…
Keep readingGoing to enjoy some H2 Oh!
I’m at my parents place for the weekend. It’s a long drive, even as a passenger. I held my big travel pillow tight to my chest the whole way and even with that everything is aching. My parents have a beautiful place on the lake and I am so excited about going swimming. As a…
Keep readingThe driving test
Tomorrow I try to drive. It will be the first time I have sat in my car since before my surgery. As I am no longer taking any narcotics…relax, I just mean pain medication and my arm is moving pretty well, I am venturing back out onto the roads. Until now I have had to…
Keep readingIt was just one of those days…you know what I mean?
Yesterday I drove for the first time. I only drove about seven or eight blocks to get to my lymphatic massage appointment. I was nervous but looking forward to gaining back my freedom. Unfortunately, I’m afraid my freedom is going to have to wait a bit longer. As I hadn’t driven since just before my…
Keep readingWire, wire chest on fire
Ok ladies, think about the worst underwire bra experience you’ve ever had. You know the time that you wore a bra that was actually too small and that underwire dug into you for eight hours or the time the wire actually popped through the fabric and pushed into your breast like a fire poker. Now…
Keep readingThar She BLOWS….
Been feeling pretty good. Been feeling stronger. Been feeling like the worst is over…until last night! I have been pushing myself the last few days, in an attempt to feel or at least “appear” normal. I like to be busy. I like to accomplish things. I like to be on the go. Of course I…
Keep readingCaution, men at work
Today was another “fill” day. My last one was three weeks ago. It takes that long for the skin to stretch and settle at the new size after the saline injections. It really is a bizarre feeling having this fluid move around your chest like an alien being. The fluid travels at will. In the…
Keep readingTime flies when you’re having….?
Eight weeks ago today I came home from the hospital. On one hand it seems like yesterday and on the other….a lifetime ago. And it has been a very different life since CANCER became the focus of everything I do. Being told I had cancer has changed me forever. Since my diagnosis I have researched,…
Keep readingWhat not to wear
It’s Monday. The start of the work week…and for me the start of trying to go back to the office part time. I have been doing work from home as best I can, but its not the same as “being at the office”. I miss the hustle and bustle of the office, the energy, the…
Keep readingTaking inventory…it may take awhile
There is nothing short or brief about filling out a two page form to take my “pain inventory”. Today I am at the Michael DeGroote Pain Clinic at McMaster Hospital. Am I here for a followup for my mastectomy? Nope. An appointment for the hematoma? Nada. What about an appointment for the reconstruction? Niete. I…
Keep readingTGIF…Tough Girl I’m Fine!
The last few days have been very hard…and I’m not entirely sure why. Yes, the back injections and subsequent effects on my chest were painful but I have endured much worse. Maybe it was having to experience walking into an Operating Room again and climbing up onto the table that really shook me to the…
Keep readingHow much TIME does it take?
I was sitting outside yesterday, trying to relax and enjoy what’s left of this fleeting summer. When I found out I had cancer and was planning for my surgery I kept thinking, well the good news is, I’ll have the summer off! Hmm…little did I know that this summer would be anything but a vacation.…
Keep readingEnquiring Minds Want to Know…
Ever since I went public with my diagnosis I have been inundated with questions from friends, family…even total strangers. Somehow people feel that they can ask you anything and everything and you should gladly answer. Maybe that’s a good thing. I obviously want to share my journey hence this blog, but it amazes me the…
Keep readingFrighteningly Fashionable
I had a meeting today out of the house. That in itself is a big deal for me. I ransacked my closet to find something appropriate to wear. It isn’t easy. With no chest, none of my pre-surgery clothes really fit properly. They all hang differently or gape where there is nothing now to fill.…
Keep readingGlad to be here!
Yesterday I went to the doctor. So what’s new right?! Well, this visit was to my family doctor. You see, ever since my surgery, I have been suffering from bad nerve pain in my legs. It started off with just some tingling and a bit of burning in one thigh but has now progressed to…
Keep readingThat’s like a bottle of wine!
I had another fill today. It’s not something I look forward to. Just in case you didn’t believe me when I referred to the size of the needles they use to inject me…here is the “turkey baster” itself…less the needle part. Yep, this is what they use. Thanksgiving will never be the same! The cancer…
Keep readingMarching to the beat of a different drum
Its been three days since my last fluid injection into my ever growing tissue expanders. I have had three injections now of 120cc’s of fluid on both sides plus the 390cc’s that were put in at the time of my surgery. My “mounds” as I like to call them are starting to take shape. The…
Keep readingFrom patient…to patient. Mind the gap.
It’s raining today. It’s grey and gloomy. I had to turn the furnace on as the temperature inside the house was down to 16C…around 60 degrees fahrenheit. That’s cold…for inside. I’m wearing jeans, thick socks and a big comfy sweater. I look like the stay puff marshmallow man. My true body shape is completely masked…
Keep reading“I’m fine”…it’s the easy answer
Wednesday, hump day, middle of the week and typically a day that borders on the beginning of the week and the push towards the weekend! Yesterday was a busy day for me. I had appointments in the morning and then went to the office for several hours then fought traffic to get home to hop…
Keep readingHas it really been three months?
Yesterday marked three months since my surgery. June 13th will always be a day I remember…forever. When I say “three months” out loud it sounds like an incredibly long time. On one hand the time has flown by…and on the other it’s been the longest three months of my life. When I first came home…
Keep reading“That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for…..ME!
I saw a notice last week at my Osteopath’s office for a stair climbing clinic. One was designed for “intermediate” climbers and one for “beginners”. Can you guess which category I fit into?! It said that it was a four week course that would teach people the proper technique to stair climb to get the…
Keep readingFeeling very deflated after being inflated
Yesterday I say my reconstructive surgeon for an examination and a “fill”. My doctor came into the the room with two residents. I tend to meet new ones at every visit. As he wasn’t present at my last visit, he wanted to do an examination of my chest to see how things are progressing. With…
Keep readingMeds, meds and more meds
Yesterday I went back to see my family doctor for a followup on my nerve pain. Two weeks ago I was prescribed Lyrica to see if that would help, but unfortunately there was no change. The doctor had said that I might have to try several different pills in order to find the one that…
Keep readingSometimes you just have to believe that everything will be fine
I’m in a holding pattern, waiting for the new meds to help my neuropathy, waiting to get a follow up appointment at the McMaster Pain Clinic, waiting for my next saline injection, waiting for my next lymphatic massage, waiting for a good night’s sleep and waiting for a day I wake up not thinking about…
Keep readingI haven’t come this far to have only come this far!
I haven’t left my house in a week. The new medication I am taking to help with severe nerve pain in my legs has knocked me flat on my ass. I am nauseous, light headed and very very frustrated. The write ups on the meds say it may take up to four weeks for it…
Keep readingI’m AWARE today and everyday
Today is October 1st, the start of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. As someone dealing with this disease and all its ramifications I feel a sense of responsibility to remind women of the importance of getting checked regularly and to encourage men to support the women in their life that may be facing this disease too.…
Keep readingHard as a rock
I had another fill this week….another 60cc’s, that brings me to 870cc’s on each side. I am starting to feel like I have a chest now. The last two fills have made a big difference. I still don’t have a real sense of what “size” they are in terms of cup size. The nurse suggested…
Keep readingMembership has its privileges
This week I was able to get in to see my surgeon at the McMaster Pain Clinic. I have been going there for epidural steroid injections in my back for two herniated disks. I had made an appointment to talk to the doctor about the neuropathy I’ve developed in my legs since my mastectomy. It…
Keep readingB.R.A Day a very fitting event
This week I attended a Breast Reconstruction event at St. Joseph’s hospital. I had seen a poster on a bulletin board at the Juravinski Cancer Centre and signed up. I had no idea what to expect but given the fact that I am in the throws of reconstruction I decided it would be beneficial. The…
Keep readingA change of scene is just what the doctor ordered
Thanksgiving weekend….always one I look forward to. Family, turkey dinner and nice weather for walking and enjoying the fall colours. But not this year for me. Not because I am unwell… because I’m doing something different. Instead of turkey and pumpkin pie, I’m having falafel, tahini and kefta. I’ve flown to Egypt. Yup, you read…
Keep readingIs that one hump or two?
Ahhh Egypt. What a beautiful place. I am in Cairo for a few days and just a short drive out of the city are the pyramids. Imagine pyramids in your own backyard. They truly are awe inspiring. I got to witness the pyramids of Giza. These are the most famous… the ones you see on…
Keep readingThe ups and pat downs of traveling in Egypt
I’ve been pushing myself pretty hard since arriving in Egypt. There is so much to see that I don’t want to miss out on anything. I have wonderful guides who are extremely knowledgeable and a wonderful driver. The traffic in Cairo is insane. There seem to be no rules except don’t hit anyone… and you…
Keep readingSubscribe to My Blog
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.
Sorry, I Don't Have Time For Cancer 