Been feeling pretty good. Been feeling stronger. Been feeling like the worst is over…until last night! I have been pushing myself the last few days, in an attempt to feel or at least “appear” normal. I like to be busy. I like to accomplish things. I like to be on the go. Of course I have not been able to function at the pace that I did before my surgery…not even close, but this weekend I really tried to do as much as I could as often as I could for as long as I could. I admit, I was pushing pretty hard and feeling very tired but I wanted to take advantage of visiting with friends, enjoying the garden, finishing some work projects and just maintaining a schedule that was active and well, busy. It’s been hot here, which given that it is summer is nice, but heat and my current situation don’t mix too well. That added to not being able to sleep at night has made it harder for me to keep my energy up and keep up the pace that I so want to do.

By early evening last night I was not feeling very perky. I was very tired and just not feeling “well”. I know…I haven’t exactly been the poster child for health and well being for several weeks, but last night was different. I had a headache, my body was achy and I just felt like crap. I have been very lucky with my recovery that I did not experience nausea after surgery or anytime since. But as you know, there is an exception to every rule. I lay in bed for hours feeling very uncomfortable and very unwell. I got up several times just to walk around, hoping that whatever I was feeling would subside and I could sleep. AHHH sleep. I don’t get much of that even though I go to bed exhausted every night. My body just will not relax and let me drift off. I’m usually awake til 2 or 3am every night until finally by some miracle I manage to succumb to the darkness.

As the night progressed so did my unease and to spare you all, let’s just say that I rid myself of whatever was inside that was causing my inner turmoil. Also, just for the record, I don’t recommend barfing when you have tissue expanders in your chest. Severe heaving causes them to contract and only add to the revolting experience! Sorry, was that too graphic?!

Finally, after purging, I was able to get a few restless hours of sleep. That was around 4am, when last night’s meteor shower was supposed to be at it best. I’m afraid I didn’t get to see that natural wonder, as I was seeing my own stars while I hunkered over my version of the big dipper. Today will be a much quieter day, not necessarily by choice but by necessity.

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