Hard as a rock

I had another fill this week….another 60cc’s, that brings me to 870cc’s on each side. I am starting to feel like I have a chest now. The last two fills have made a big difference. I still don’t have a real sense of what “size” they are in terms of cup size. The nurse suggested I go to a specialty bra shop to get some measurements but also added that even then it is difficult to know as the tissue expanders don’t really form a true shape and size. Their job is to stretch all the skin on both sides of my chest in order to accommodate the implants later. The expanders can be inflated past 1000 cc’s…a litre! They have to be overinflated in order to have enough excess skin for the surgery so I still have a ways to go in this skin game.

Our skin is an amazing organ. It can stretch and form as needed provided we take good care of it. I slather cream all over my chest and incisions to keep everything supple and healthy. Think of a pregnant woman and how much the skin on her abdomen stretches in order to accommodate a baby. The thing with pregnancy is that the skin has a chance to stretch slowly over 9 months. With the tissue expanders it’s a bit different. Although the stretching takes place also over several months the skin is forced to stretch immediately with every injection and then is given time to “settle” in between fills. After every injection my skin feels like it will burst at any second and remains very taut and my foobs (fake boobs) are now hard as a rock. They actually remind me of mannequin breasts….solid, stationery and not very realistic looking. They are super hard and they don’t move with you. They are awkward and painful and although I will never have “real breasts” again, I am certainly looking forward to having the expanders switched out for implants.

After my appointment I stopped at a grocery store. I hadn’t been out of the house all last week as I was so nauseous so I really needed to pick up some food. I quickly grabbed a few things and then found the shortest line to wait my turn. I loaded my items onto the belt behind the mounds of food the gentleman in front of me had. It looked like he was stocking up for Armageddon. As I stood there waiting my turn I didn’t notice him lifting a big case of water out of his cart and swinging it up onto the conveyor belt. All I knew was that something heavy hit me in the chest and I saw stars. My arms immediately flew up to cover the searing pain I felt and I let out a squeal.  “Oh, I’m so sorry” he said, “Is your shoulder ok?” I looked at him as tears welled up in my eyes. “I’ll be ok”, I lied, “but it wasn’t my shoulder.” I don’t know why I felt compelled to tell him that, but he was looking at me now in disbelief. In his mind, he had accidentally hit something hard. Something rock hard! He had no idea that I was sporting mannequin boobs like a giant Barbie doll.

Once home, I inspected to see if there was any damage. I was fine, except for the pain of being knocked. No punctures, no dents. No worse for wear. These foobs are infallible.

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tatacancer View All →

President of As You Like It Marketing & Communications Inc. Award winning speaker and author. Breast cancer fighter and blogger. I’m sharing my journey…the good, the bad and the ugly. Hoping to help anyone else that has been touched by breast cancer be it you or someone you know or love.

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