The waiting game

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Ahhh, Friday. Ahhh, any day. Since I’ve been home recuperating everyday seems to blend into the next day. Friday is the same as a Tuesday and Saturday could be a Wednesday, they’re all the same. Friday evenings were always a night to relax and unwind. And usually would start with a very dry vodka martini with olives and pickled onions. You see the thing with martini’s is you have to sip them. You take your time, relax and enjoy. That’s the main reason I always had one. Of course, I like how they taste, but the ritual of a martini helped me to decompress. I have always been someone who lived life in overdrive. It is hard for me to shift to a lower gear. That’s why Friday’s ritual helped me to “chill”…even if just for a few hours.

Now my Friday is just the opposite. As I am writing this, I am still in my pajamas. It’s almost noon and I will probably go have a nap in an hour or so. I’ve gone from overdrive to barely idling. My only outings are to the hospital for follow up appointments. I haven’t cooked a meal in three weeks as I can’t lift pots and pans or use my arms to whisk or stir fry something. I really have no appetite anyway. Makeup is a thing of the past…and fashion, well if I get out of my pajamas and put on clothes for the day that’s progress.

I know its only been three weeks since my surgery, and I had some complications so it is actually three weeks today that I came home from hospital. On one hand it feels very fresh but on the other it feels like I’ve been dealing with this “recovery” for three months rather than weeks. The “overdrive” Patti wants to be fully recovered, reconstructed and resuming her regular life. The post surgery “idling” Patti wants the same thing but is moving at a snail’s pace. The simplest tasks tire me. This Patti won’t be cooking a nice meal tonight. She won’t be sipping any martini’s and she’ll be working hard to stay awake to see the nightly news. This Patti knows that it will be awhile yet before “overdrive” Patti returns, but she is hoping that she can soon move from idling to at least second gear?!





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President of As You Like It Marketing & Communications Inc. Award winning speaker and author. Breast cancer fighter and blogger. I’m sharing my journey…the good, the bad and the ugly. Hoping to help anyone else that has been touched by breast cancer be it you or someone you know or love.

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