Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.

Today I had my pre-op appointment to prepare for my surgery Monday. I knew what to expect this time as I had to go through the same paperwork, questionnaire and tests as I had in June. I was scheduled to have bloodwork, and EKG and to meet with an anaesthetist. I arrived at my scheduled…

This time next week I will be in the operating room. Thanks to a cancellation, I was moved up from April 25th to February 11th. I’m excited but also nervous. Although this surgery won’t be as intense as the last, it is still a major procedure and could have complications like I experienced last time.…

Yesterday I had my appointment at the pain clinic. I wasn’t receiving injections this time, but meeting with the surgeon to discuss how I was doing overall. They have tried to relieve some of the nerve pain in my legs which is getting worse by the day. Unfortunately without an MRI they can’t pinpoint what…

It’s no secret that I’ve been having a hard time these last few months. Being in constant pain wears you out. I’m used to going a 110 miles an hour with work and social engagements, but all that has has slowed down. A LOT! There are people in my life that I barely hear from…

I read an article this week about a woman who’d undergone a double mastectomy. She is a successful entrepreneur and very well off. I was excited to read the article because she was going to talk about how her wardrobe had changed and what she liked to wear now. She talked about high end stores…

It’s been seven months since my mastectomy. Seven very long months. I guess I am naive, but I never imagined that I’d still be dealing with the reconstructive process at this late date. I saw my surgical oncologist this week. It’s been six months since I saw her when we reviewed my pathology report. The…

I AM Physically Emotionally Mentally TIRED! I’m the girl who’s always tried to be positive. Ask anyone. I love to make people laugh. Yes, I also love to laugh, but making people laugh makes them think that everything is fine with me. Because how could I be anything but happy if I am entertaining everyone…

This is probably the first time that I have been truly happy to see a year ending. It’s no secret that 2018 hasn’t been the best year for me although when taking inventory last night, there are many things about 2018 that were very positive. I celebrated 20 years since starting my marketing company; I…

You want what?!?!?! Ahhh, Christmas. The time of year that is magical and stressful. The shopping, the traffic, the cooking and cleaning…..all the preparation that goes into one day, one meal….it’s exhausting and yet every year we look forward to the havoc. It’s a time for family and friends; and as a kid it was…

As a business owner I have had an insurance policy in place since I started my company. It is a disability insurance policy that would pay me a few thousand dollars a month if ever I was unable to work; whether for a short time or a long time. It isn’t enough to cover all…

Today is December 13th. It was six months today that I had my mastectomy. Hard to believe. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would still be “recovering”. Not that I am bed ridden or anything, but I am far from being healed. It won’t be for another few months that I…

Yesterday, I attended my first industry event since being diagnosed. The last event was a large conference in April. I had just had my biopsy…literally. I underwent the biopsy the day before driving 5 hours to the conference. I remember being in so much pain, and only able to drive with one arm. I was…

Oh, what I wouldn’t do for a fairy godmother! Someone to wave a magic wand and transform me from my “cinderella” state to a princess. Ok, maybe a warrior princess, not a frilly girl in a ball gown….although I think I could rock those glass slippers. I mean what girl doesn’t love a new pair…

I didn’t get any sleep last night. I look and feel like crap which isn’t helping with my situation. Self doubt is running rampant in my head. Have I made the right decision to stop the injections in my chest? Will the end result be something that I can accept and live with for the…

Today I was faced with a big decision. I went to see my Reconstructive Surgeon for my “fill” appointment. I haven’t actually seen him for a couple of months, having had Residents perform the fill procedure at my appointments. At today’s visit, I asked specifically to see him. A nurse came into the examining room…

I’ve been searching for some information, an article, a post anything to tell me how to deal with the pain of these tissue expanders. Some days I wish they would just burst and give me some relief. The tightness of my skin is very uncomfortable and the pressure put upon the sutures also hurts but…

Today I saw my family doctor for the first time since my diagnosis. It was this doctor that arranged for the referral to the Juravinski Cancer Centre. She was wonderful in making things happen but I haven’t seen her since. “It was five months ago yesterday that I had my mastectomy”, I told her. “Wow,…

I am the first to admit that I have been remiss in nurturing my friendships with other women. Over the years other things have always “got in the way”… be it work commitments, family commitments…life commitments. I should have made my girlfriend commitments more of a priority, but I didn’t. But that is all going…

Today was my “fill” day. The hospital was really busy so I waited over an hour for my appointment. I was hoping to see my reconstructive surgeon today as its been several weeks since I’ve seen him. I wanted to discuss my progress and the plan for how many more injections I will have before…

Let’s face it. We have all known someone who’s had cancer. It’s everywhere. It doesn’t discriminate between income, gender, race or age. It doesn’t care if you’re a good person or not. It doesn’t care about anything except trying to ruin your life. It sucks having cancer. It sucks for the person dealing with it…

This is one birthday I am happy to celebrate! Given the last six months I am happy to be another year older and look forward to a lot more years. That may sound a little “dramatic” but when you are given a cancer diagnosis trust me the fear of dying is very much at the…

Last week I was in Egypt, soaking up the sun, experiencing new and exciting sites, sounds and experiences. The trip was just what I needed. Time away from doctor’s appointments, procedures and the depressing reality that had become my daily routine. The trip injected me with a new found energy and positivity that had been…

They say that if you touch the Nile waters you will return to visit it again. Well I’ve touched it and swam in it. I took a boat to a Nubian Village where the basic mode of transportation is camel and I went swimming in the healing waters of the Nile. There is something almost…

These last four days in Hurghada on the Red Sea have been wonderful. The weather is spectacular. Always sunny, in fact I haven’t even seen a cloud since I arrived. Today is my last day here and I went on a snorkeling adventure. I love snorkeling. I am never happier then when I am in…

I’ve been pushing myself pretty hard since arriving in Egypt. There is so much to see that I don’t want to miss out on anything. I have wonderful guides who are extremely knowledgeable and a wonderful driver. The traffic in Cairo is insane. There seem to be no rules except don’t hit anyone… and you…