Last week I was in Egypt, soaking up the sun, experiencing new and exciting sites, sounds and experiences. The trip was just what I needed. Time away from doctor’s appointments, procedures and the depressing reality that had become my daily routine. The trip injected me with a new found energy and positivity that had been waning the last little while. I admit it, I was feeling rather down in the dumps and I was finding it hard to get out of the rut.

This week I am back to reality albeit feeling recharged and optimistic about what still lays ahead on my road to breast reconstruction and recovery. I had another “fill”. It’s been three weeks and I had almost forgotten just how much I hate these injections. I was away for Thanksgiving, but those giant turkey baster sized needles were a quick reminder. Rather than gazing out onto the dessert or the Red Sea or a beautiful temple, I got to gaze up at a florescent light full of dead flies. Twenty-seven to be exact.

I know that it’s twenty-seven because I counted and recounted over and over as I tried to focus on something other than the eight inch needle being pushed through my chest wall to inject the next 60cc’s of saline in each of the tissue expanders. That now brings me up to 930cc’s. I probably only have three more “fills” or at least that’s what I am estimating. I haven’t actually seen my reconstructive surgeon in several appointments and the Residents aren’t able to give me the answers I am looking for. So in my estimation, if I have three more injections at a rate of every two weeks, my last injection should be around the first week in December. Then I have to wait a minimum of three months before they will schedule the next surgery…although I’ve heard the wait time is more like five months. That means that I could  be having the surgery as early as March but more than likely it will be May. Then there are several weeks of recovery so that will pretty much bring me to the anniversary of my mastectomy, which was June 13th. What a year. Definitely one for the record books. I know how absolutely blessed I am to be as healthy as I am, to have had the opportunity to travel as I did and to have the love and support of friends and family. I am going to try my best to remain positive and to not let myself slip back into the funk I was in, but I can’t promise that there my be a day now and then when I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, sad or just bummed with the pain and anxiety that exists every day when you are dealing with the ramifications of this horrible disease. But my view is that a year from now this will all be over and I will look back on it not fondly but with a new found strength, understanding and compassion for all the others that are or will be facing the same journey. It may not require a suitcase or a passport but its a trip that will be remembered for a lifetime.

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