Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.

Today was my Pre-op appointment for my impending surgery Thursday. This is the third round I’ve gone through since last summer. First my mastectomy June 13, 2018, then my reconstruction surgery February 11, 2019 and now for what they are calling my “revision” surgery, July 4, 2019. Revision…yup that’s how the doctor referred to it…

Yesterday, was my day to receive more spinal injections. After finally having MRI results to guide my surgeon, he and his team worked on finding the areas in my spine that they could inject steroids to numb my pain and reduce inflammation. Unfortunately, the injections only last a few weeks at best. They do provide…

Yesterday was my long awaited appointment at the Pain clinic to get the results of my MRI. Since my mastectomy surgery I have been suffering from severe nerve pain in my legs and only an MRI could show why. My surgeon “painstakingly” reviewed my scans and there it was in black and white, literally, that…

One year ago today, I took the longest walk of my life down a cold, sterile brightly lit hallway to an operating room to have my breasts removed. June 13, 2018 I underwent a bilateral mastectomy. I had a 16cm x 10cm tumour in my left breast and several growths in my right. I had…

…”Yes, this is my 6th,” I answered the technician. I have been waiting for this MRI for almost a year. After my mastectomy, I developed severe nerve pain in my legs. I have been prescribed several kinds of medication but none have worked. The only way for the doctors to see if I have any…

I am in a holding pattern. I have been for months. I am currently on two waiting lists for surgeries. One list for the removal of my hematoma and one list for surgery to remove my ill-fitting silicone implants to replace them with saline implants. I have my fingers crossed that the new implants will…

First let me say that I know your comments and calls are out of concern and I appreciate it BUT, saying things like “oh, I read somewhere about some kind of breast implant that’s being pulled off the market as its making women really sick” OR ” I heard that there is a breast implant…

Yup, more surgery is needed. I saw my reconstructive surgeon today. It’s been three months since my tissue expanders were removed and silicone implants inserted. That surgery was nowhere near as traumatic as the mastectomy surgery BUT it was still very painful and still took several weeks to “recover”, although I am NOT fully recovered.…

April 30. A day I will never forget. One year ago today, I heard the three words that changed my life forever. “You have cancer!” At that moment it felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. I felt like I was under water, not able to breath but still…

There’s a lot of people I haven’t seen since I was diagnosed with cancer. It happens. Leading up to my diagnosis I was undergoing test after test to determine why I was in such pain and more importantly why I had thick bloody fluid coming out of my nipple; that time seemed to be flying…

Try for a minute if you will to think about every time you’ve had to push through feeling sick with a cold, flu…hell even a hangover because you had to go to work, a family function or even to get groceries. You know the effort it takes to get dressed, spruce yourself up, put a…

I’m at an industry conference…and not just attending. I spoke at a power session yesterday all day; hosted two hours of round tables this morning and am speaking again tomorrow afternoon. In between I’m networking, attending other sessions and generally trying to get back in the swing of things. I’ve gone from zero to 100…and…

We all have scars. They are part of growing up. They are part of life and when we look at them we remember how we got them. I have a scar on my right knee from where I crashed my bicycle racing my brother to play mini-putt. I have a scar on my left thumb…

Yesterday I was at the McMaster Pain Clinic to have a series of epidural steroid injections in my back. I have become accustom to them now…which sounds weird, given they hurt like hell. The staff at the hospital know me now. They know that I’ve been dealing with breast cancer and have worked with me…

Monday, the start of a new week. A fresh outlook. A blank page in my journal. How will it be filled? It’s the last week of March. You can feel that Spring is in the air. The sun is shining a bit brighter. The sky looks bluer and I can hear birds chirping outside my…

That’s what my reconstructive surgeon said to me today. I am 5 weeks post op and in a lot of pain. The swelling under my left arm is the worst it has ever been and the pain is affecting everything I do. I have been prescribed muscle relaxants and pain medication but I don’t like…

Since my mastectomy in June, I haven’t had to “dress for success” all that often. At first I lived in pyjammas and loose clothing that had internal pockets to hold my drainage tubes. Then I moved onto yoga pants and loose fitting tops and finally graduated to jeans and sweaters. Now that I am doing…

It was a month today that I had my second surgery; when I finally had the tissue expanders removed and the implants inserted. And am I glad to have those things gone! They were cumbersome, painful and debilitating. At least with the implants I don’t look and feel quite as bad. It does feel weird…

Today is International Woman’s Day. A celebration that I am proud to be part of. I like being a woman. As hard as it’s been making my way in a world that has always been male dominated I wouldn’t want to give up my femininity for anything. I like having a “softer side” while still…

When you have been “away” from things as long as I have, it takes a lot of energy to get back on that treadmill. When you are dealing with cancer, your focus becomes just that; dealing with cancer! Since my mastectomy in June, I have been keeping my business going as best I can, serving…

Twenty four hours after my trip to the hospital for my surgical followup I am SICK! I’ve been hit with a some kind of bug that has knocked me on my ass. I can’t keep anything down other than small sips of water to stave off dehydration. It’s nasty. I spent six hours on the…

Just got home from my first followup appointment after my surgery two weeks ago. I’ve been bandaged and unable to shower for two weeks. I’ve had to just wash while sitting in a few inches of water in the bathtub. Can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to taking a long hot shower…

Since my surgery a week ago to remove my tissue expanders and to insert my implants everyone wants to know if I’m done now AND am I happy with the results?! Well, to answer you all…. 1. I’m not done, yet. I will need some minor surgery still to deal with the ramifications of the…

Where do I begin? Monday I had my exchange surgery where they removed the tissue expanders and inserted silicone implants. The surgeon also had to remove the hematoma from the first surgery and remove a surgical clip that was floating around my left side. I arrived at the hospital at noon, checked in and then…

It’s here. My surgery day. I’m finally getting these fu#king expanders removed and the silicone implants inserted. In a few weeks I will be able to lie down properly and hopefully sleep! I’m actually looking forward to being “put under” so I can get some pain free sleep. It’s been eight months since I’ve been…