First let me say that I know your comments and calls are out of concern and I appreciate it BUT, saying things like

“oh, I read somewhere about some kind of breast implant that’s being pulled off the market as its making women really sick”

OR

” I heard that there is a breast implant that causes a reoccurring  breast cancer”

OR

“Someone told me that they knew someone who had implants that caused their body to shut down and they died…”

OR

“I saw someone on tv and they said their implants made them sicker than their cancer”…

THIS DOES NOT HELP ME!

I have done a lot of research. I am well read and I have been very proactive in this journey. Coming to me with stories, hearsay and assumptions without actual facts or assuming that all breast implants are the same just adds to the frustration I feel with this whole journey.

To set the record straight the implants I have are :

Yup, I actually have to carry a card with me to identify what I’m “packing”. I imagine when I go through the next surgery to have these removed and replaced with an implant that will actually fill my chest cavity, I will receive another I.D card.

The implants I have now, I requested because they are smooth and are filled with a gel like substance that feels more like real breast tissue…although there is no comparison between real and fake! Unfortunately, the ones I have are the largest size they make (790cc’s) and do not fill the empty cavities left by my mastectomy. I remind everyone once again that reconstruction is NOT augmentation. I have no breast tissue left. That includes all tissue from my breastbone to half way under my arms and from the top of my ribs to my collar bone. That is a very large space to fill and therefore I have to find a different kind of implant that will do the job. Saline implants are the only solution as they can be expanded past their recommended “size”. The issue for me now is that I may not have enough skin left to cover the new implants. My tissue was stretched for months when I had the tissue expanders as the surgeons need extra tissue in order to suture your chest closed after inserting the implants. Of course any excess tissue was removed. NOW, I need that tissue back if I want the larger saline implants. Again, the larger saline implants are not because I want larger foobs, it is because I need to fill the cavity that was left from my mastectomy. My surgeon has examined me and thinks he may be able to work with what tissue I have presently, BUT if not I could wake up with tissue expanders again and not the new implants. THAT scares the sh#t out of me. The tissue expanders were the bane of my existence. They are so painful and cumbersome and down right horrible. If I have to go that route then there will be yet another surgery to remove the expanders and put in the implants. That means more scars, more recovery time, more doctor’s appointments, more pain and a lot more frustration. That’s at least three more surgeries instead of two.

I’m already having to wrap my head around the fact that the saline implants will be harder, even less natural looking, can cause skin rippling and will not be what I wanted.

None of this is what I wanted. I never wanted to have my breasts removed. I never wanted to endure a year of pain, worry, depression and fear. I never wanted to look and feel the way I do. I never wanted to get CANCER! But I did. And I am doing the best I can with what I have to work with. So please, send me all the good stories and info you see and hear but please keep the rest to yourself. I DO appreciate that you all have my best interest at heart but the stress of every bad story, piece of news and rumor is going to kill me way before any breast implant ever could.

Uncategorized