Thanks for the memories

It is a year ago today, January 4th, that my Dad passed away. The holidays last year were hard, as my Dad was very sick and we knew the end was coming. My Dad died of pancreatic cancer which had spread to his lungs, kidneys and stomach. It was a very aggressive cancer and one that ravaged his body quickly.

As someone who has had and survived two types of cancer ( breast and skin ) I know the toll cancer takes on our bodies, our minds and our spirit. It’s a disease that tries hard to dim your light; to suppress your joy and to fu#k with your mind and spirit. My Dad fought bravely, kept his humour and reassured us that we would all be ok.

Last night, I was with friends. We talked about our holidays this year and exchanged stories. One thing that really stuck with me was that many of us are choosing not to get together with family and friends as its “just too difficult” or they’d “rather just stay home” or…and this really stuck with me ” its just too much effort.” I get it. I know how busy people are. I remember driving six plus hours through blizzards, with my three month old daughter, to get to my parent house for Christmas. Was it difficult? Yes. Would it have been easier to stay at home? Most definitely. But, was it worth it? Priceless. Now, at the time, I probably moaned and complained that the trip was exhausting. That it was hard schlepping all the baby stuff and my daughter’s routine would be out of whack…but that feeling and frustration was fleeting. Why, because I now have memories to cherish.

This holiday, memories played a huge part of our celebrations. With my Dad gone, those memories of family time made me feel close to him. Hey, my memories aren’t all a scene out of a Hallmark Christmas movie to be sure…but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Sharing stories this year; reminiscing of Christmases past; laughing and even crying made this year a holiday that was filled with love rather than loss.

When we lose someone we love, it’s the memories that we cling to. It’s the stories, the events and the time spent together that help keep those people alive in our hearts and minds. So the next time a friend, colleague or family member wants to get together or to even to schedule a zoom or Whatsapp group call, think twice before you decline. Will you regret not participating in the future when you no longer see them or can speak to them? Will you be searching for memories of them once they’re gone? Life passes by so quickly. Many of us are caught up on the hamster wheel of life and don’t make that extra effort too hop off occasionally to be “present.”

I miss my Dad terribly, but the memories I have of our times together, keep him top of mind and fill my heart with warmth and love.

Thanks for the memories Dad. xoxo

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