It was the best of times; It was the worst of times.

Yesterday I lost my Dad. Cause of death…what else…CANCER! He was diagnosed with terminal stage 5 pancreatic cancer in November. His goal was to make it to Christmas to enjoy his new great granddaughter’s first Christmas holiday. He did make it, although was only able to visit with us for half an hour before needing to lie down for the rest of the day/night. A few days later I moved into my parents house to help my Mom look after him. He had deteriorated very quickly and was hallucinating when he was conscious.

When my father received his diagnosis he faced it with remarkable courage and grace. We arranged for MAID (medical assistance in death) in case there came a time when he was suffering so much he wanted to end things. That time came right after Christmas. Unfortunately, due to the holidays and the MAID doctor being booked solid, we had to wait 6 days before he could come. Those six days were absolute hell for my father, my mother and for my brother and I. We had arranged or nursing care when needed….and boy did we need it!!! However, again due to the holidays, the numbers we were given to call were never answered. My father at this point was completely bedridden; unable to do anything for himself. That meant my mother, brother and I had to wash him, change his diapers and administer medication that he could barely swallow. He had stopped eating altogether and we had to dribble small straws of water into his mouth trying desperately to keep him hydrated. It was horrible watching my father suffer. We all felt so helpless.

My father passed away on January 4th, in his 90th year. He was a devoted husband, loving father, cherished grandfather, great grandfather and friend to many.

Born in Ottawa, my father had an accomplished 38 year career with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC). His work took him to Ottawa, Edmonton, Montreal, Toronto and Europe, where he made significant contributions, including his involvement in the critically acclaimed Music of Man documentary mini-series as well as television coverage of the 1976 Montreal Olympic Games. Outside his professional life, my father was an accomplished and passionate pianist, having won many a piano competition in his teenage years and who in 1955 achieved the designation Associate of the Royal Conservatory of Music Toronto in piano performance. My father received a scholarship to the Julliard School of Music in New York City, but due to lack of funds was unable to accept and started working full time instead.

My dad loved people; young and old. He took interest in everyone he met. He loved sports: football, hockey, tennis, baseball and soccer; and was quite the athlete in his day. He was a kind, generous and thoughtful man. If you had the privilege of calling him friend, you were blessed.

My father was a huge support to me growing up. I was a competitive swimmer for many years and he would drive me to the pool at 4:30am. While I swam for a few hours, he would sleep in our camper. In Edmonton, in winter, it was often minus 30 degrees and everything froze solid…including my wet hair! He would put on a big snowmobile suit and crawl into the camper, buried in blankets to keep warm and sleep. When I’d finished training, we’d drive back home where he would shower, dress and head back to the city for work…and I would head to school. We did this for years and he never seemed to mind; at least he never let on if he did 🙂

That is but one of the many things he did for me. He was never to busy to read to me, play with me, teach and share his musical ability with me and to be a wonderful, caring, supportive and loving father.

If I could have taken his pain from him I would have. He was a proud man and would never would he have wanted his last days to be as they were….but thankfully he was able to be at home, with family. He is now at peace. His love, wisdom, humour and music will live on in my heart.

I love you dad.