…or everyday when you’ve been diagnosed. April 30, 2018 was the day my life changed forever. It’s the day that my world was turned upside down. It’s the day I heard the words “YOU HAVE CANCER”. I was thrust into a new world that would forever be changed. Everything from that point on was categorized as “before” and “after” cancer.

It’s been a rough ride but so far I haven’t run out of gas; although there’s been plenty of days that I’ve been functioning on mere fumes. I was not prepared for what cancer would do to me. The sleepless nights, chronic nerve pain, anxiety, depression, fear and laughter. Yes, that’s what I said…laughter. Anyone who knows me or has read my blog posts will know that I have been able to poke fun and laugh at myself, even on the darkest days. It’s what keeps me going. It’s how I deal with difficult things. It’s how I hide the pain that I push through day after day.

Thanks to my seven surgeries, I have developed chronic nerve pain. I am on seven different kinds of medications to try to alleviate it or at least relieve it enough so I can get a night’s sleep. Now, because I don’t sleep and my body never gets into that relaxed state, I have developed high blood pressure. At first I thought it was “white coat” syndrome…you know, how we all get a little nervous and anxious when we see the doctor…but in my case it kept creeping higher and higher until I was averaging 165 over 125. That is almost at “stroke level”…so I was referred to a cardiologist and am now on blood pressure meds too. I’ve had a stress test, ultrasound and echo cardiogram and my heart is good. No signs of blockage or distress. Thank fu#cking goodness for that! The meds however do have side effects. Dry mouth, headaches and dizzy spells are prevalent. In fact, last week I stood up to close some curtains and then awoke flat on the floor not knowing how I got there. I fainted from a standing position and am lucky I didn’t break my nose(which I have done several times) or worse. From the giant bruises on my body, I figure I must have hit the floor knees first, then shoulder and side of my head. It’s scary when you pass out and have no recollection of the event. I now am very careful when I stand up and am staying very hydrated too. I feel sometimes like I could write a medical journal instead of a blog. Maybe then I could make some $$$$!!!

Covid has most definitely added its own issues to my recovery. Many of my appointments and treatments have been delayed throughout this time and I feel for everyone else who’s lifesaving surgeries, and rounds of chemo and radiation aren’t happening as quickly as needed. For those of you who aren’t vaccinated, stop being so bloody selfish and just get it done. Aren’t you tired of all these restrictions? Do you not feel badly for the people who are immune compromised and who can’t risk getting covid as they may not be able to fight it?! You wear seat belts, follow crosswalk rules and wear hard hats for safety. You require vaccinations for measles and polio, etc. in order to go to school…so what’s the difference? And don’t say it’s because you don’t know what’s in it because we put all sorts of things in our bodies that we have no clue what they are! Do you really know what’s in the Advil you take, or the cough medicine or even the mouth wash you use? Hell do you know what’s in the Colonel’s secret spice that’s used on your fried chicken!?!?!

If Covid was a drink it would be a colonoscopy prep! The last two years have been a sh#tstorm so everyone PLEASE let’s do what we can for the world and each other. We are acknowledging that today is world cancer day. And yes cancer needs a cure. But everyday for the last two years has been world Covid day and that too needs all of us to fight it, and eradicate it. Let’s put a stop to this virus so we can focus our energies on putting a stop to other things…like CANCER….PLEASE!

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