No…say it isn’t so

Cancelled. That was the message I received. My loooooong awaited surgery to remove the hematoma left from my mastectomy and the unsightly bulge of skin under my arm. My surgery was scheduled for this Wednesday but now I have no idea when it will be. When I listened to the message from my surgeon’s office I felt my stomach drop. It was like hearing you didn’t get a job you really wanted, or you failed a big exam or that there is no Santa!

I know that sounds a bit melodramatic but I’ve been waiting for this surgery for 15 months. So when I got the call last week saying they had a spot for me I was elated. Weird, I know, being excited about being sliced open, but trust me…in my world now, that’s a good day!

I am going to have to suck it up and start looking for a dress for my daughter’s wedding. It’s coming up quickly and I can no longer wait for the “bulge” to be removed. I’m just going to have to find a dress that covers that and the scars that run the length of my chest. No plunging necklines for me!

On Thursday I went for some initial tests to determine whether I have developed an ulcer. I had bloodwork and an ultrasound. The technician kept asking me if I had had my gall bladder removed. I have not. He kept pressing and looking.

“Are you sure you haven’t had it removed?”

“Positive” I said. “I’ve had several other things removed, but not my gall bladder!”

“Well, I can’t find it!” He said with frustration.

Seriously, I am not surprised by anything anymore. This journey has been a combination of many ups and downs; highs and lows; progress and setbacks. I try my best not to get too disappointed when things don’t go as planned…but that’s life. No one lives life in a straight line. That would be pretty dull. But right now, I could use a bit of dull and some good news.