I am one week post-op. I am still struggling with pain and fatigue. It’s crazy how much these surgeries have zapped my energy. I have been making an effort the last few days to get out of my pj’s and get dressed. Not that anyone is going to see me, but it just makes me feel less like a patient and more like a person.

I am moving in slow motion. Every little exertion of energy exhausts me. I eat only because I have to and not because I feel like it. I find myself sitting staring into space not sure how much time has passed and trying to motivate myself to do something…anything.

I have more than a week to go before I see my surgeon. My incisions are very sore and still look red and and raw through the bandages. My chest is extremely swollen so its hard to tell what it will look like when I’m healed. My arms are very bruised and very weak. I can only fill the kettle halfway to make coffee, otherwise I can’t lift it. Toast, cereal and yogurt are my “gourmet” meals with a banana and maybe an apple thrown in when I’m feeling adventurous. My meds make me very thirsty so I’m drinking a lot of water. I know that is good for me but it all makes me have to get up to go to the washroom every 30 minutes and that tires me out! Seriously, this recouping stuff sucks. I had these visions of sitting in my back yard, enjoying the beautiful weather while I sipped a cool drink. Of course in my “vision” the drink was a cocktail but in reality no alcohol has touched or will touch my lips while I am on my meds. Somehow I don’t think Mezcal and Morphine are a good combination without or without the worm!

This is definitely NOT the summer I imagined. It’s almost the middle of July. It will be quite awhile before I feel “good”.  Once again cancer has stolen my summer. That’s two summers you owe me Mr. Cancer…and I plan on collecting. PROMISE.

It’s just another reminder that summer is short. The days and years are short….life is short. We all must appreciate everything that we have. We all must live life to the fullest while we can. No excuses. No regrets. Don’t waste a second because you never know when your plans will be interrupted.

So I am resting up, trying to regain my strength while I wait for my body to heal. I am holding on to the hope that soon…very soon, I will rejoin the world and enjoy what summer and life has to offer.

Uncategorized