I don’t take life for granted

Six years ago today, I walked down a brightly lit, cold, sterile hallway and into an operating room to undergo a bilateral mastectomy in order to fight breast cancer.

The memory of that day is still as vivid as if it was yesterday. I am reminded of the ordeal by the scars and chronic pain I endure daily…but I am thankful! Yes, thankful…for my life, for my family and for my friends.

While I was dealing with breast cancer and my subsequent eight surgeries, I tried to keep a positive attitude. I pushed my feelings of fear aside and made sure I kept a smile on my face so at least outwardly, I looked strong and “together”. I never wanted people to see me as weak or afraid. I tried to always be in control.

Now, I’m facing another challenge. On either side of the life spectrum, are my beautiful new granddaughter and my father. Both have been dealing with medical issues. One at the start of her life and one close to the end of his. There is nothing worse than seeing people you love more than words, hurting, suffering and vulnerable. I would do anything to make them well; to relieve their pain and to give them the health and peace they so very much deserve.

For my granddaughter, who is only 3 months old, there is light. Her first few weeks were rough. She spent time at CHEO, the Ottawa children’s hospital. She had surgery at one month of age and is on medication and a special diet. She is slowly getting better and will have a bright future ahead. She is just starting her journey; so full of promise and opportunities. I am blessed to be her grandmother and to share in her life.

For my father, unfortunately, the light is growing dim and as much as I try to “brighten up his day” it is fleeting. Even the miracles of medicine have a limit. It is soul crushing to watch the man that I have looked up to my whole life, wither away more and more each day. His body has failed him and his mind is now cloudy and confused.

I have relocated to be close to both. I want to spend as much time as possible with them. I, like many, am the sandwich generation, looking out for and helping the old and the new. I am in the middle, trying to stay strong, calm and positive. I was able to do that when I was battling cancer but it is a harder challenge when its for the people you love.

Today, June 13th, I celebrate six years since my mastectomy. I celebrate that I am cancer free, and I celebrate life. I am grateful for everyday. I am grateful for my friends and family. I am grateful that I have people I love and that they love me. I am grateful to share in Ourea’s new life and am grateful to be close to my father as his slowly fades away.

We should all be thankful for each and every day. We should celebrate the good and help each other through the bad. Cancer reminded me that we can’t take anything for granted. Tell someone today how much you love them. No regrets. Life is precious.